The Hangover

Before even going out to see it, you have to understand that “The Hangover” is a movie that has been released to the world with nothing to lose. It’s a movie about four guys, three of whom are hosting a bachelor party for their best friend in Las Vegas. A movie with a plot like that probably doesn’t cost too much to make, and indeed only took fifteen days (that’s only two weeks folks) to wrap filming. That being said, it’s made over $100 million in two weeks. It set the record for highest grossing opening weekend for an “R” rated comedy ever. Not too shabby for a director without a hit in almost a decade and a cast full of veritable unknowns.

Todd Phillips is the director. He hasn’t had a funny film since 2003 with “Old School.” The film that set-up Vince Vaughn’s funny man comeback and put Will Ferrell on the map. (Funnily enough, “Old School” did nothing to further Luke Wilson’s career- the best actor of all three…) Then there’s the cast of “The Hangover”.  Bradley Cooper as Phil is the headliner- we know him as the jackass bully belonging to Rachel McAdams in “The Wedding Crashers”. Beyond that, Cooper’s had roles in movies like Matthew McConaughey’s “Failure to Launch,” and Rainn Wilson’s “The Rocker” and the 2009 Valentine’s Day bomb “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

Ed Helms as Stu is probably the second most well known (if not the first most) of the cast. Fans of Helms know him well from “the Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and also his current gig as Andy Bernard the rageaholic foil to Dwight Schrute on television’s “The Office” with Steve Carrel. Stu is the dentist with a conscience, and seemingly the only logical thinker of the bunch. He loses his tooth during the bachelor party and does not know how when he wakes up the next day.

Justin Bartha plays Doug, who essentially is the main character of the movie but much like Christian Bale in “The New World” we only see Bartha for a total of twenty minutes throughout the film’s one and a half-hour run time. Doug is the man they’re doing it all for, the bachelor. His future father-in-law has let him barrow the prized antique Mercedes convertible and sets him off on his trip to Vegas letting him know, “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” (Can you guess what happens to the car yet?) Now Bartha has had two crucial roles in his entire career- both of them coming in the role of Riley in Disney’s two “National Treasure” installments. In the second of the two, he’s the movie’s only saving grace. (Nic Cage’s career can you hear me??)

Then there’s Zach Galifianakis. Here’s a guy I saw live when he was at his peak of popularity at my Alma mater- the University of Rhode Island. He had his own talk show. People were still talking about his role in the cult-hit “Out Cold”. That was in 2003. Interestingly enough, that’s the same year that “Old School” was released so both Phillips and Galifianakis, who plays the semi-deranged Alan in “The Hangover”, had a lot riding on this film to take them out of an almost decade long dry spell in Hollywood.

The girl is played by Heather Graham another actor with nothing to lose since she hadn’t been a true lead female character in a good (notice the key-word “good”) movie since she played Felicity Shagwell in 1999s “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.”  Graham’s been bouncing around from poor film to poor film since then as well as having a decent cameo part on the television series “Scrubs” featuring Zach Braff.

And again, for a movie that went into theatres having virtually nothing to lose, they all (director included) pull it off. They foursome has one more weekend of bachelorhood in front of them and they’re looking to make the most of it. They check into “Caesar’s Palace” and rent one of the most expensive suites, then they go up onto the roof share a shot of Jagermeister and it all goes down hill from there.

 Waking up the next morning, Stu (Helms) is sleeping on his stomach in the middle of the room, in a small pool of his own blood. Phil (Cooper) is on a mattress in the middle of a hallway in the suite, (#2452, which added together equals 13---very unlucky in Vegas. Thank you for that fact IMDB,) and Alan has been having his rest behind the wet bar.

Alan rises first, goes to the bathroom- only to find a giant tiger waiting for him sitting right next to the bathtub. Its Alan’s screaming that raises Stu and Phil. They try to figure out what to do about the tiger and also wake up the groom to-be. Only, a funny thing, the groom is gone!

 What happens next is a rousing adventure involving not only the mystery of what happened to them the night before, but also the reason why they can’t remember. The film features many familiar “Vegas movie” clichés including silly marriages, strippers, gambling debts, tough thugs looking for money and of course- Wayne Newton.  Mike Tyson has his funniest cameo appearance since being the larger than life final boss in Nintendo’s “Punch Out” video game in 1987.

Yes there’s tigers on the loose, a mattress on the roof, a beat-up Mercedes that dad’ll kill them for, a nude Asian man in their trunk, a missing $80,000 and corrupt Vegas cops who think it’s funny to unwillingly tase people. Through it all they’ve got to find out what happened to them, and they especially need to find the missing groom! “The Hangover” never takes itself seriously and is just plain funny. It certainly earns its “R” rating (see: the closing credits) with its crude humor and nudity. It’s also a movie that’s hits many clichés but still remains original all its own. Think: “The 40 Year Old Virgin” meets “Wedding Crashers” and “Swingers” along with the crude humor of “Step Brothers”. If you liked any of those films, you’re sure to think you spent your money wisely on a ticket to “The Hangover” And yes, the sequel is already in the works.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button re-teams actor Brad Pitt with director David Fincher. The duo had previously worked together on such films as Fight Club and Seven. If their previous work is any indication as to how the pair have worked together, then going into “Curious Case…” expectations were certainly high.

            From the opening sequence in a Louisiana hospital room, the gritty darkness incorporated into the scene screams of vintage Fincher. There’s an old woman lying on her deathbed, her daughter staying by her mother’s side until the very end. The old woman has a story to share, a black and white flashback that tells the tale of a blind clock maker who lost his son in World War 1. The clock maker creates a clock the runs backwards and has it hung in a busy train station, the significance is that perhaps if time moves backwards, those that had lost something or someone would be able to rewind time themselves, and recover what they had lost.

            Thus, the movie begins. It turns out that the story the old woman has told to her daughter is significant because the woman carries with her a diary belonging to one named “Benjamin Button”. Benjamin was a different sort of person in that he spent his entire life, aging backwards. The diary is his life’s work, recounted by Button himself, and done so prior to becoming an adolescent and forgetting everything that had happened. The film’s plot is told through this diary, with narration by actor Pitt playing the lead role of Benjamin Button. It is a story based upon the short one of the same name written by famous author F. Scott Fitzgerald.

            Cate Blanchett, like director Fincher, re-teams with Pitt and she plays Benjamin’s love interest “Daisy”. Blanchett and Pitt last worked together in the film, Babel playing a husband and wife pair. Benjamin and Daisy hit it off right from the start, which is odd because when they first meet, Daisy is very young. As a viewer, we know that Benjamin Button is only eight years old but says so himself that, he “looks a lot older”. Daisy seems to see past his age and they become instant friends. As Benjamin ages and gets younger and younger he continues to seek out his one true love no matter where she is on the globe. Blanchett is, with her curvy dark eyes and creamy white skin tone, once again superb in her part. She continues with this role, to be one of the better actresses working in Hollywood today.

            Other cast members of note include, Tilda Swinton, who since playing the White Witch in the “Chronicles of Narnia,” seems to only be able to play bored housewives looking to commit adultery. She played the same part in the Cohen Brothers recent film, Burn After Reading while going after George Clooney. And she finds love in the arms of Brad Pitt in “Button” playing bored wife, Elizabeth Abbott, whom Benjamin believes to be his first real love. (Apparently not realizing the feelings he had for Daisy all along). She seems to have lost all sense of meaning in her life once she was unable to be the first woman to swim across the English Channel. Jared Harris of Mr. Deeds plays Captain Mike, seemingly the most masculine male influence in all of Benjamin Button’s life. It’s everything that Captain Mike is not, that Benjamin seems to love and respect him for.

            The story is captivating. Here is truly a film that keeps you watching for three hours, without having much action to show for it. The acting is great, and Brad Pitt should get a nod for a nomination in the“Best Actor” category during awards season this year. If Pitt does get nominated, than he and wife Angelina Jolie (Changeling) may both be up for a trophy. Those who should win some awards is who ever did the special effects for this film- the make up and aging done to the characters is absolutely flawless. Second to none! 

One of, if not the best, film of 2008!

Does "Valkyrie" Cruise Along?

            Tom Cruise is on the move to resurrect his career. Funny, that the crowned King of Scientology needs to rise from the dead like a certain Christian deity that he has chosen to rebuke. The move for a career shake up should be obvious. First he dabbled in comedy by portraying an over-worked and over-weight movie producer in Ben Stiller’s summer comedy “Tropic Thunder”. For the first time in his career Tom asked us to laugh with him. The only time he’d ever asked us as fans to do that was when he played Austin Powers in the in-movie movie preview they showed during Austin Powers 3.

            Now, in “Valkyrie” Tom Cruise shifts us back to his dramatic side. His turn as real-life historical figure Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg is once again against the grain of Cruise’s past normalcy.  Cruise plays the part well enough, however the movie falls into a great many pit falls.

            First and most importantly, “Valkyrie” is supposed to take place in Adolf Hitler’s World War 2 Germany. Why, director Bryan Singer (“X-Men” and “Superman Returns”) decided to cast not only Cruise, but also a bevy of thick accented and recognizable Brits is beyond any all comprehension. In fact the only instance in the entire film when any actors (Including David Bamber as Hitler himself) even speak a hint of German- in the very opening of the movie, where Claus von Stauffenberg is writing an entry into his journal.  Normally, we go to films to escape reality- and therefore the fact that this movie isn’t exactly accurate shouldn’t bother you. However, this is a true story. Wouldn’t you think the director and those involved would want to stay as true to the source as possible?

            As stated, almost every actor besides Cruise will make you do a double take, and spend at least thirty seconds trying to decide what other movies you’ve seen them in. There’s Bill Nighy (“Pirates of the Caribbean” and “Underworld”), there is Kenneth Branagh (“Harry Potter”), Tom Wilkinson (“The Patriot”, “Batman Begins” and “Michael Clayton”), Terence Stamp (“Star Wars”), Kevin McNally (“Pirates of the Caribbean”) and even Tom Hollander (“Pirates of the Caribbean”) just to name a few. There are others!

It is the belief of this critic that “Valkyrie” would have been better portrayed as an indie-film using actual German actors speaking in German, with subtitles used at the bottom of the screen. The actors in this movie didn’t even look like they were German. I saw a better Hitler portrayed in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”.

            The other pit fall the film has is that any movie that is historically accurate means that the audience, unless not educated in the event, already knows how it’s going to end. “Valkyrie” is a movie about one of the many assassination attempts on Adolf Hitler’s life. If you’ve been to school, or at least never have lived under a rock- than you know going into it, that Hitler was never assassinated. If you do that math- than all you really need to do is sit through the first three quarters of the film and then imagine the rest.

            All of that being said, there are some suspenseful scenes throughout the film, which for a film labeled as a suspense-drama, is a good thing. Also for me, admittedly though I knew the eventual outcome I was not fully aware of everything in between so the film did get a bit befuddling at times when they were throwing out names of new characters, or group planning together. It was a nice when they explained everything by going step by step through their master plan.

            “Valkryie” is a film that doesn’t have to be seen in theatres for a $10 price tag plus popcorn. It’s not the movie that is going resurrect Tom Cruise’s career. You’re not going to leave the theatre a changed person. You’re not going to ever have to see it again and again. You’re never going to need to own it in your personal collection and you might not even recommend it to friends. But if you’re a history buff, a war movie buff, or even if you’ve seen everything else and want to go catch another- “Valkryie” will entertain you. I supposed, in the end, that’s all you can really ask for from a film.

The Notebook Meets Homeward Bound (Bring the Kleenex!)

When purchasing a ticket to go and see “Marley and Me” one has to ask, for what reason are they going to see it? It was because you saw the puppy dog with the red bow tied around its neck, right? Set aside the fact that Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston are the stars of this movie and at the heart of it all- you’re going to see the movie because the dog looked cute in the previews. The two main actors could have been nobodies and this still would be the number one film in America.  That being said, the question is: is it a good film or not? This is one of those movies that I shouldn’t say too much about, because it would give too much away. So hopefully the short review below will be enough for you to formulate an opinion.

            Owen Wilson, still a bit warm coming off the hot stove that was the much-publicized woes of his private life, plays John Grogan a young newspaper writer living in Florida. John’s your typical guy- handsome and young, just married but not yet looking to push the fast forward button on the VCR of his life just yet.

            Jennifer Aniston coming off woes at the box office (Rumor Has It, Friends with Money) as well as her very publicized private life plays Jennifer Grogan, John’s adorable and loving wife who just happens to also be a newspaper writer. Pause the movie for a second----these two seem like they’d be right for each other in real life!

            Wilson and Aniston are two fine actors who do good jobs playing their roles in “Marley and Me”. Although Owen Wilson may not even win an academy award, he gets the job done playing Grogan, who turns out to be just an ordinary guy. He's someone who likes beers and gadgets and somebody who doesn’t try too hard to do anything, but ends up surprising himself every time there’s success. Neither Aniston nor Wilson is absolutely amazing in the movie- but they do have some on screen chemistry that is a huge plus for a plot such as this.

            John Grogan’s friend Sebastian, played by Eric Dane (Grey’s Anatomy) is another newspaper writer who hasn’t quite given up his frat boy image. When Grogan relays to Sebastian that Jennifer might want children, and he might not be ready, Sebastian tells his friend to get her a puppy. The puppy in turn, should take away the need for a child for at least a few years. Grogan thinks this is a good idea and decides to surprise Jennifer for her birthday.

            They meet Marley for the first time at a farm with lots of other dogs. The woman who lives on the farm explains that the owners of Marley’s mother dropped her off, without even knowing she was pregnant. That’s a blessing for John and Jennifer who fall instantly in love with Marley from the moment they lay eyes upon him. The woman seemingly knows that Marley’s different from the rest of his litter right away when she sells the pup to the Grogans for less than all the other brothers and sisters, tempting John and Jen to name him, “Clearance Puppy.” Marley gets his real name when he and daddy John are riding in the car and Bob Marley pops on the radio. John at first tries out the name Bob to no avail. However, when he says “Marley” the dog’s ears perk up and it’s the name that sticks.           

            From that point forward, the movie just rolls. It’s a film that shows both the light and dark sides of being a pet owner. It’s a film that shows the light and dark sides of relationships and children. It’s a film that shows the light and dark sides of careers and trying to keep your career moving when family comes around. It is not a simple movie about a cute puppy. “Marley and Me” turns out to be sort of a two-hour epic about an everyday family. The viewer gets to follow this family from their very first wedding night and fall in love with them as they live their lives. There are so many scenes that just make you think, “that’s us” or “that’s me” or “that’s her” or “my dog is like that”.

            If you like dogs, you’ll like this movie. If you like relationships you’ll like this movie. If you’re a dog owner, you’ll like this movie. If you’re a dog owner in a relationship, (especially long term or even married,) bring the Kleenex. My tear ducts were working pretty much halfway through the film when the Grogans were trying to get pregnant. There is just so much here that reminds me of things going on in my own life, with my own relationship and my own dogs.

    “Marley and Me” will make you want to do two things when it’s over:

1)    Hug the person next to you and

2)    Hug your dog when you get home.

 

 

Let's Give Me Somethin' To Talk About...

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
First, big props to ESPN for bringing back the old theme song for Monday night football. I haven’t watched MNF in a season or so, not since the Patriots played, and I don’t remember if I saw the beginning, but the last time I did see the MNF opening, I believe ESPN had opted for a computer generated street theme in which the street transformed into a football field and game. It was a breath of fresh air to see Hank Williams Jr. back in action.

"There's Hank Jr...Lookin' A Lot Like My Dad?"

So, Matt Cassel proved me wrong for one week. After his poor performance in the previous weeks, he’s still got some ‘splainin’ to do. I’ve seen this kid throw far too many passes into the dirt to completely believe he’s matured to the next level of NFL quarterbacks. I’m as big a Pats fan as the next guy- but come on, are we really going to let him do well in just one game before we hail him as the next King? I’m sticking to my guns on this one. Show me three straight good performances and talk to me then.

Saint Louis doesn’t exactly represent the crème de la crème of great defenses, or great teams for that matter, so I’m going to reassess my feelings of Cassel after the Indianapolis Colts game in two weeks. Regardless of how well or how poor the Colts are doing year in and year out, they match up well against the Patriots and the two teams go at it like old sparring partners

"Football Players Just Don't Look Good When They Smile."

I heard that Michael Vick is going to give a guilty plea for running an illegal dog fighting ring and possibly reduce his sentence. The Patriots have a real knack for bringing troubled players back down to earth (see: Corey Dillon and current team captain Randy Moss). So perhaps if he gets his sentence substantially reduced he can come in to help out the New England team by season’s end. I’m kidding of course. I would rather have a drunken, coked-up Daunte Culpepper. The only people who have been to prison that I ever liked or respected were Sean Connery from The Rock and Tim Robbins from The Shawshank Redemption.

I think Michael Vick would fit in best in Cleveland, playing for the Browns where they wear those dog masks. A nice ironic team would be a good fit for the troubled veteran quarterback.

"Comet from Full House Stands Up For Dogs Everywhere!"

As of today, it’s being reported that Tom Brady may be out for two full seasons and at least a few weeks into a third. Listening to radio station WEEI this morning and the Dennis and Callahan morning show, the talk show hosts cited an outside source that Brady’s injury mirrors that of lacrosse star’s elbow injury not too long ago. Apparently said lacrosse star had surgery to repair his elbow, the repairs became infected and another surgery was required.

That being said, if the injury is similar to Brady’s ACL then doctors will not operate on Brady until the infection subsides, which could take up to 12 months. After that year, the doctors would then operate to replace the ACL entirely and that would require more time for recovery. Tom Brady has acknowledged that he’s had more than one surgery on his knee. The source close, familiar with the injury says that it’s because of infection that Brady has had surgery on the ACL multiple times. If it is indeed the case and doctors cannot stop the infection, Brady could be sidelined from 2008 all the way through to 2010. It’s going to be tough to come back after being away from the game for two straight seasons.

Was I really kidding about Michael Vick?

He might be out of prison well before that!!

MLB: HOT STOVE REPORT

There are still rumors swirling that the Boston Red Sox are interested in Mark Teixeira. The journeyman third basemen is a superstar caliber player who’s wound up on three teams since the 2007 season. If this guy’s numbers are so good, and so many teams supposedly want him, than why do teams keep on trading him away? Texas would’ve been better with him this season. Just imagine their lineup with Michael Young, Milton Bradley, Ian Kinsler, Josh Hamilton and Teixeira. Beyond those five names, David Murphy batted like .400 when he wasn’t hurt and that’s the majority of your line up right there. Keeping those guys and going after some pitching, Texas would be a force to be reckoned with. Although, the pitchers need to be top notch because we saw what happened to the New York Yankees with a great line up and no pitching.

"Look Ma! I Got Me a Mickey Mantle Rookie Card! Tee Hee!!"

Anaheim is the best place for Teixeira. They can’t sign both him and K-Rod though so it’ll be interesting to see what they do in the coming weeks and months. Most outlets I’ve seen call for them to resign their record-breaking closer. I say if it’s going to be tons of cash to buy him back, why not let him go and get another guy that can gun people down in the late innings? Is it really that difficult to get a great closer? Sure the Red Sox proved that teams in the AL couldn’t have a closer-by-committee not so long ago, but Anaheim certainly has some young guns that might be able to handle the job. See: Jose Arredondo.

If Anaheim lets Teixeira fall through the cracks than of course all eyes will turn to the New York Yankees. The Yankees will certainly not pick up Jason Giambi’s option, which is $22 million. For those counting, that’s two million over the price on slugger Manny Ramirez’s head. Ramirez, as shotty as he was toward the Boston Red Sox is still a much better hitter than Giambi ever was or ever will be at this point in his career. The Yankees are known for making big splashes in the offseason i/e Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson, Jose Contreras, Roger Clemens and etc. So making a bid for a gold glove first baseman wouldn’t be a big surprise. They do need pitching, though they will get Chien-Ming Wang back at full health and perhaps their young guns will be another year older and wiser.

Beyond all of that, the Red Sox seem like the only team that doesn’t fit. They’ll have 2007 World Series MVP Mike Lowell returning at (hopefully) full health. Kevin Youkilis mans the bag at first base and David Ortiz is their power-hitting DH. There are talks the Red Sox might eat some of Lowell’s contract and include him in a trade but at his age and with his injury this season, is there a team that can use him? Atlanta comes to mind as one destination for Lowell. They’re most likely losing “Mr. Glass” Chipper Jones to the free agent market. Maybe we can cross our fingers and the Red Sox will get some sort of dream deal done that sends Lowell and a prospect to Atlanta for their young hitting catcher Brian McCann. Talk about a guy that can someday replace Captain ‘Tek!! McCann is second in the major leagues only Joe Mauer in the last two seasons in terms of catchers that provide a heavy dose of offense.

"The Future of The Red Sox? Not McCann! That's Crazy Talk- The Umpire Behind Him."

If and only if the Sox trade Lowell do I see this deal going down. The Red Sox could move Youk to the outfield, but whom do they lose? Drew’s not going anyplace with his $14 million a year contract. I think Bay is a bargain at the price he’s making and we’ve got centerfield locked away with Jacoby Ellsbury, assuming he’s not going to be traded. Plus, if you’re going to have a centerfielder it’s got to be a guy with speed. I don’t see Youkilis shagging fly balls in center at the Fens.

"Mike Lowell Always Makes Sure to Give Giant Baby Head-Man Madd Daps On His Way To The Dugout."

I mention Ellsbury being traded above, because I think the Sox might go after pitcher Jake Peavy. When all is said and done this may turn into either a pipe dream or perhaps a repeat of the Johan Santana saga, but we all saw how that turned out for the Sox as Jon Lester has possibly matured into one of the best, if not the best, left handed pitchers in the game. He was at least as good as Santana this season. San Diego has been a team that’s had some dealings with the Sox in the past and the general manager there is close with Theo Epstein. So out of any team in baseball right now, I think any possible deal with San Diego is an exciting one. The Padres want three players for Peavy: two prospects and a major league ready centerfielder. It’s almost like the Red Sox are having a wonderful dream and we all get to be a part of it! If the Sox have an abundance of anything right now it’s minor league talent, and of course Coco Crisp!!! Here’s my deal:

Sox Trade: Coco Crisp, Clay Buchholz and Michael Bowden (Joe Thurston/Chris Carter)Padres Deal: Jake Peavy

"Maybe Soon Jake Peavy Can Hold the Balls of Boston Fans Everywhere."

Do we give up a lot? Sure- but think of it like this: Buchholz has had one good game with the Sox so far, his no-hitter. Michael Bowden we still have yet to see his full potential. If we can get away with keeping Bowden and trading either Thurston or Carter, what does it matter to us? Neither of those two will ever play for the Red Sox and we keep the guys we know are good: Lester and Masterson and we get rid of Coco Crisp! This would be a win, win, win situation because let’s face it, it was nice to have Coco off the bench this year but the guy can be silent for only so long. Sooner or later he’s going to start complaining that he’s not starting everyday, especially if it’s a contract year which would be this season if I’m not mistaken. I give him all my respect for not mouthing off this season as he rode the bench. Hey, without him we wouldn’t have made it to game seven against Tampa!!

The Boston Herald reported that the Sox would almost certainly pick up Wakefield’s $4 million dollar option for 2009. Wake ain’t done yet- and he’s an inning eating machine. So picture if you will, even for a moment, this pitching staff for 2009:

Josh Beckett
Jon Lester
Jake Peavy
Daisuke Matsuzaka
Tim Wakefield

Um…yikes!

And if the Red Sox can’t get Peavy, than an old friend is a free-agent this year, and apparently as reported by the Newark Star Ledger, Derek Lowe has the Boston Red Sox on the top of his list as teams he would play for in 2009.

That's all my ranting and raving for today! The above picture speaks for itself, which is why I don't really need to leave a caption making fun of it! A good movie hasn't come out in over a month so I have nothing to report new on that front. As always fans: stay tuned for more to come!

Celebrate Bad Times Come On!

“Ohhhh I’m in a glass cage of emotion!” my soul today is Ron Burgundy in that phone booth during the memorable scene from Anchorman in which Ron Burgundy’s dog, Baxter, has been kicked over a bridge by a pissed off biker dude.

The Red Sox season is over. I hurt.

The Patriots went 17-0 last year before losing the biggest, most important game in the Super Bowl and yet strangely, the loss last night to the Tampa Bay Rays hurts more. Let me explain it better with a list of reasons why:

Top Ten Reasons Why the Red Sox Losing to the Tampa Bay Rays Hurts More than the Patriots Losing to the New York Giants:

10) I hate the fact that the media is making the Tampa Bay Rays into a rivalry team.

09) I can’t stand Raymond---if mostly for my affection for Jerry Remy.

08) Where the heck did their fans come from? Wow a full stadium of Pink Hats!!

07) They deleted “Devil” from their names and it frigging WORKED. What can we delete from ours? Red?

06) Scott Kazmir. He just doesn’t do anything for me. He’s like the poor man’s Jon Lester. He’s had, what? Two or three seasons to be good? Nah- he’s just gotten worse so far.

05) The Tampa Bay Rays think they’re better than Coco Crisp- and now they can gloat even more.

04) Thank you Tampa Bay, for ruining Christopher Walken’s SNL cowbell clip for me.

03) I never really hated Tropicana Field, but I laughed when the Boston radio guys made fun of it. But after this series? Tropicana Field really does suck- with that stupid satin grass and those terrible bullpens.

02) The fact that they were the worst team last season? I’d rather lose to the Pirates or the Nationals.

01) Johnny Gomes. That guy. I’ll tell you. Talk about a jerk. Here’s the guy who waited until Coco Crisp was down, during that benches clearing brawl? He slides in and started wailing on Coco’s head after about four of his teammates are holding Crisp down. What a freakin’coward. Every time they showed him in the dugout with that stupid hoodie on I wanted to vomit. What was he even doing there anyway? Did that guy have an at-bat this season?

"TOOL"

The good thing about last night was that it brought me back. I wasn’t as into the playoffs in 2007 as I was in 2004. Last night I felt the passion again. Last night I was on the edge of my seat, barely able to sit still. Every single pitch counted and I never once felt confident. It’s been a long time since I yelled at the television as much as I did. Maybe it was because I didn’t surround myself with a lot of diehards in 2007. I mean, even my dad who said he could “die in peace” after 2004 slept through the playoffs ’07.

This year though, I knew every single one of my friends was waiting by their phones for the Sox to win and call each other yelling. When they lost, my phone didn’t ring once. I slept more soundly sure, but that is just telling you how depressed we all were. I still haven’t talked to a single one of my friends or my dad yet today. I talked to my mom, and I let her know I’m in mourning. But it’s not the same.

I can’t face the conversation with my friends yet. I’m sure my friend Ryan will call me by 8:00PM tonight to talk Sox, and to get himself pumped up for the Patriots game. Stephen I’m more worried about, he could be anywhere at this point and I wonder about his brother Nathan too. I feel like maybe my friend Nathan punched a hole in his television. I feel like Stephen just went for a long walk and hasn’t come home yet. Maybe I should call them just to make sure they’re all right.

…but I don’t want to talk about it yet.

All there is to look forward to now are the Celtics. Oh yea, and the Providence College/URI Basketball too. Even as devout a Pats fan as I am, the only way the Patriots are going to win another game this season is if Matt Cassel is on the bench. Until he proves to me that he can actually play the game, I refuse to believe the Patriots are any good at all. Their defense is exposed and their passing game reeks of bad garbage. Lawrence Maroney is a bigger bust than anything the Romans put out depicting the image of Caesar’s head and shoulders. “Big” Ben Watson is hurt more often than a hopeless romantic’s heart and that corner back they picked up sucks more than I used to on a fraggin’ ring pop.

"Green Machine"

I know that last paragraph has a lot of allusions to different things. But read through it all slowly and you’ll be fun.

More to come at a later time. I already have a headache thinking about tonight’s Patriots game. GO PATS! As usual…I’ll probably be in bed at my regular time though.

"Duuuuuurh??"

Soxtober

Oh.

By the by.

RED SOX WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scenes like these never get old for the die hard fan in all of us. My dad may've let a few tears come down when the Sox won it all in 2004- but I still get a bit misty eyed every time those dirt dawgs pile on top of one another.

Aside from the Patriots or Celtics- the Red Sox do something to me. The game of baseball does something to me. The game itself interests me more than any other sport. Sure the other sports are more exciting in a literal sense- but the chess match of baseball is so much more intricate. These are not just two teams playing against one another pounding away- one team scores and then the other team scores. No- there's so much more strategy to baseball. It's the pitcher versus the batter, the pitcher and catcher, the pitcher versus the man on first, the outfielder with the canon for an arm gunning down a guy at the plate.

And in the post season it all has to be perfect. What did the Angels pride themselves in this year? Small ball mixed with great defense. What failed the Angels in the post season? Small ball and defense.

For the Sox- they play in a playoff atmosphere everyday. Boston is the place where fans like you for who you are one day- and then hate you because you haven't produced the next. The players are under constant scrutiny and constant stress. The post season? Easy when you've already been doing it all year long.

The Angels? The Devil Rays who only sell out when the Yankees and Sox are in town? They have nothing. They only play intensity one month out of the year. The Red Sox- and even the Yankees- play in that same intensity starting in May and ending for the most part in October.

So bring it on Rays! Boo Yahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Doesn't feel a little good to know that the Tampa Bay Rays are going to sell out and have about 80% of the people there cheering for the Red Sox? And, if the Rays lose? The fans they do have will never believe in them again because they're all "pink hats" now that the team is winning!

Oh so much pressure...you know who eats pressure for breakfast?

Yoooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't be afraid of Tampa Bay just because they beat a Chicago White Sox team that has the chemical make up of a Boston Red Sox team circa 1995-2001. The problem with the White Sox is that they tried to hard to mix veterans with youngsters. Their veterans are too old (Thome and Griffey?) and their youngsters weren't experienced enough (Ramirez) to carry them through. The Tampa Bay Rays are working on adreniline. I expect this to be a powerful series but the caffine rush for these young Rays will wear off like it does for me every day at 4PM.

I say: Red Sox in 6 Games. I gotta give the Rays some credit.

Also- I say pitch Wakefield in this series! His one and only blunder I can remember in Red Sox post season history is that homer to Aaron Boone in 2003. Other than that he's been brilliant in post season play- and isn't he like 100-0 lifetime at Tropicana field? I won't be surprised if Wakefield doesn't pitch, but it would be fun to see him dominate.